As We Sing Our last Goodnight
by InkweaverMysteria
Summary: This is a short about Tom Hiddleston and his complicated relationship with a college student. Something happened that caused him to leave, and now Kate resents him for it. She feels alone, secluded from her family. She wants to leave the U.S. and try to forget . . . After a small tragedy, he suddenly appears again, but is Kate open enough to forgive him?


**I literally wrote this whole thing in one hour. I was listening to _Into the Light_ by In This Moment and while sitting at my computer desk, this came spilling out of my fingers just from listening to the song. So, I thought I'd share it. Originally, I wrote this in four different parts, but it seems too short to split into separate chapters. I don't own Tom Hiddleston. He is a real person, whom I love. As always, comment and review please. You critiques are always a huge help. **

She no longer talked to the friends she made that year during her last semester of college. She just wanted to get her degree, get out, and move on with her life. They knew it, because they knew what had happened between her and that man they usually saw her with. They didn't bother her about it. They understood she just wanted to be left alone.

Her silent tears distracted no one, but herself. Some days were too overbearing, so she just packed her tools and left, without a word to anyone. None of her professors seemed to mind, since it wasn't that big of a habit of hers, and she never did it in the middle of a lecture. They often encouraged her to go home and relax to get her mind off things. She would go home, but she couldn't relax, not when all she could think about was _him_.

When Kate was alone, her mind often drifted back to the times she had spent wrapped in his arms. It was torture. How could he have left her like that? Did she do something wrong? Was she no longer good enough? Of course, she knew the answers to all of those questions, but night after night, she continued to ask herself what she had done wrong, and wishing the answers she wanted would appear to her through the darkness of her room.

His words still haunted her. The words of love, and secret promises pained her the most. _"You are beautiful, Kate. You do not know how lucky I am to hold you in my arms,"_ he had said. All lies. Thinking about him only made her heart hurt worse, but she couldn't stop. He had been everything: handsome, charismatic, polite, and loving; a wonderful figure of a man. She wept the more she thought about it, feeling so stupid for falling for his sweet deceit, for his charm, for all the lies he had told her. She was just a child. She felt foolish like a child. Of course he would not stay! He was at least twelve years older than she was. He had a Hollywood career, a career she probably would have destroyed, no doubt.

Some part of her didn't blame him for leaving, though. That part knew she would only drag him down. Still, she felt completely and utterly alone without him.

Kate debated with herself after one last night of agony and tears, until she finally decided that maybe it were best if she moved away. This was the last year she would be trapped by bookwork and late night studying before she graduated from college, so moving would be possible. She soon quit her job in a hope that the sooner she left everything behind, the sooner she would learn to forget. Though her sister, Felicia, hardly approved of her little sister's sudden desire to escape her childhood surroundings, she couldn't argue with Kate. She agreed to help pack her things to prepare for her move. She had been through enough in the last couple of months, Felicia knew that. Her only sister wasn't about to turn on her, also.

Kate figured once she found an apartment to live in it was only a matter of time before she found a new job. It couldn't be that hard to find one in busy California. But maybe she wanted to move out of the state. Maybe she would go across the sea, to live in Paris, Romania, or Ireland. She use to dream about living in Ireland, but would the distance between her and her problems help her forget? She asked Felicia one day, but her older sister did not have a direct answer for her. "Just don't rush into this, Katy. You could just end up hurting yourself more," she had warned. Felicia was always giving her advice, and whenever Kate could spare an ear, she always took her sister's words to heart, but Kate had made up her mind.

For the time being, her belongings would stay at the house with Felicia, who suggested that she at least explore places first before deciding to settle down completely. She knew Kate wasn't entirely ready for this, but she was determined. Despite everything that had happened, she knew Kate was a strong young woman. She would come out on top of all this, Felicia was sure of it.

* * *

Rain prevented Kate from leaving on the day of the move. Though it was not a very harsh storm, she would have rather left on a more pleasant and sunny day to kick-start her new life. There was much to occupy her in the house for the time being. The night before, Felicia had thrown a going away party for her, which at first Kate didn't approve of. It had been months since the last time she'd spoken to anyone, even members of her immediate family. She didn't want her grandparents around, knowing they would only encourage her to stay. Her great Aunt Georgina would do the same thing. She would also try and offer Kate money, like she had been trying to since her parents died. It took a bit of convincing, but Felicia finally got her sister to comply. It turned out to be a very fun time for Kate. Having her family around reminded her of how much she was really loved. They all treated her like the grown woman she was, and not like the child she used to be, capable of making her own decisions.

The presents left there by her grandparents (an antique set of Persian plates and a DVD on knitting) were already packed to go. Of course, Georgina had offered her money, but Kate thankfully declined. "If I can't start on my own, then there's no business thinking I could make it on my own." She had told her aunt. Georgina understood. In fact, she was very proud of her. They all were.

For most of the following day, Kate went about the house, glancing at the pictures of her family hanging on the walls and sitting on shelves and dressers in each room. Even though she had lived there all her life, she had not viewed all the pictures in the house as carefully as she did now. There were some of her and her parents, and her and her sister, and then the four of them together. Every year, up until about three years ago, they always went to get family pictures together, whether for Christmas, summer, or any favorite holiday and season.

Kate did miss her mom and dad tremendously. If anyone could help her cope with such a devastating time in her life, it would be the two of them. They were always so supportive of her and Felicia. They were as involved in a child's life as a parent should be. Though they had been strict and corrective, they were also affectionate and very devoted parents. They use to make a point each and every day to tell her and Felicia just how much they both cared for their girls.

Kate smiled at the memory of her mother and father. She kissed their wedding photo and then set it back on top of the mantelpiece above the living room fireplace.

As she wondered off through the rest of the house, a close member of the family came out of her hiding place under the stairs. She was an old, calico cat named Molly, who had lived in Kate's parents' house almost as long as Kate had. She stretched and yawned and then happily followed Kate up the stairs into her bedroom. She caught her owner at the door and rubbed her long, lovely fur against Kate's leg, purring happily. Kate smiled down at Molly and picked her up before opening her bedroom door. She would certainly miss the old cat more than anything else in the house. Sighing, she set Molly down on her bed, and then opened her window to let in some of the naturally chilled air inside the stuffy room.

Floods of rain poured down from the sky down into the street below her window. It didn't occur to Kate that leaving the window open was a bad idea; her thoughts wondered back to other things. Molly, the curious cat that she was, hopped over to the open window and peered outside, and watched the rain that fell onto the pavement below. She occasionally swiped a paw on the other side of the frame to try and catch a falling raindrop. Kate's attention returned to her cat when Molly let out a playful cry, ready to pounce at the rain outside. She squealed frantically, knowing what the old cat was about to do. "Molly, no!" but it was too late. Molly leaped out of the window and into the rain outside, landing perfectly on the front porch of the house, leaving a terrified Kate alone in the bedroom.

Not a second too soon, she bolted down the stairs and ran out the front door to retrieve the family pet. The rain poured harshly on the busy street of her neighborhood. Thunder rattled in the clouds above, but the thought of losing Molly was scarier than getting struck my lightning. Above anything else, she couldn't lose her adored cat. Kate screamed frantically for Molly, but the small animal was nowhere in sight. Kate raised her hands to her forehead, feeling the ache of overbearing stress arouse in her head. This couldn't be happening, she thought. _Could she do anything right?_ The freezing rain of the storm overpowered her tears as she cried over and over again for Molly.

For an instant, her eyes skimmed the other side of the street in last hopes of finding the cat. To her relief, Molly sat totally satisfied under the porch of the house opposite of home, licking the rain from her cat lips. With her attention completely on the cat, Kate ran into the street.

What she remembered next was a bit of a blur. Her ears caught a screeching sound at the last minute, but before she could react, something like a bundle of bricks collided into her body. Cracking glass was the last thing that Kate heard before whatever had hit her came to a shrieking halt, flinging her back into the wet street. She painfully rolled on her back, but could not move one inch after that. Small shapes and colors filled the openings between her eyelids, but she could not open them very wide. What the shapes could be, Kate didn't know. She could still feel the cold drops of rain falling on her face. The last thing on her mind before she closed her eyes was the agonizing pain running throughout her entire body.

* * *

At first, Kate thought she had died. There was no pain while she rested, only images of what had happened. She knew her mind was playing tricks on her, because she kept seeing _him_ there with her. He picked her up from the ground and held her in his arms, like he always you to. She used to feel so safe in his arms.

When she woke, the pain returned. Everything hurt, down to the tiniest bone in her body. She was glad, at least, that the first face to greet her was Molly's. The lovable cat licked her nose and purred now that Kate was finally awake. She smiled at the stubborn, old cat. "I hope your insurance can cover this, Molly," she said in a weak voice.

At that moment, Kate was bombarded with sighs of relief from the relatives around her. Her grandparents and sister were there, all with tears in their eyes. Felicia hugged her gently, and pet the cat now asleep on Kate's chest. "I'm so glad to see you're okay," she said. Her voice was hoarse and tears rolled down her face in the joy that her sister was awake.

"I'm alive, Felicia. Not okay," Kate said with a small smile on her face to assure her she really was fine.

"How do you feel?" her grandfather asked. It was obvious she didn't feel good, but she wasn't about to get sarcastic with him.

"Oh, I'll live, papa. It's what I get for chasing after an old cat…no offence, Molly." The sleeping cat was oblivious to any of Kate's words.

"Kaitlynn, you need to learn to be more careful. You nearly gave me and your grandfather a heart attack, you know!"

"Well, be thankful it isn't you laying in this bed then, grams." Kate joked. She could hardly laugh, because of the pain in her back. "At least I don't have to go threw some kind of transplant or surgery, I'll be fine," she said, honestly. They all knew that wouldn't be the case.

The car that had hit her hadn't gone too fast, but fast enough to break three of her fingers, fracture her wrist, and bruise the rest of her body up pretty bad. "You're lucky you didn't go into some sort of coma after hitting your head like that. The driver that hit you came in for a little bit to see what damage she had done, but the doctor said you were going to be fine," Felicia told her, shortly adding afterward, "I assured her you weren't going to press any charges."

Everyone's attention turned to the doctor as he quietly stepped into the room not a second later. He seemed surprised to see Kate awake and talking. He informed her that she would need to stay in the hospital for a few more days just to make sure that she was as undamaged as she seemed. "It's a miracle you came out on top of that situation with only a few minor injuries, when you could have easily broken your back."

"It seems I'm just full of luck today, Doc." Part of the statement meant to sound sarcastic, because the thought of staying in the hospital for more than one day wasn't something Kate wanted to hear.

She calmly pet Molly, who purred quietly in her sleep. She was ready to take another nap, herself, but she didn't tell the doctor that. She didn't want to give him any more reasons to keep her there longer than she needed to be. When the doctor left the room, it wasn't long after that Kate's grandparents left, also. They kissed her goodbye and promised they would return in the morning for another visit. Felicia stayed with her that night. She hardly slept. Instead she kept an eye on Kate, watching her while she lay in the hospital bed, sleeping peacefully.

Halfway into the night, Molly woke and came over to Felicia, and pawed at her leg to let her know it was time to go to the bathroom. She smiled at the cat, proud of how well trained she was. Molly was very well trained, but she was also very playful, especially for a cat her age. She played with her leash for a good long while before actually answering the call to nature. It was cool outside, and by the look of the clouds Felicia knew it would rain again soon, but Molly didn't seem to mind. She was such an optimistic little thing.

Though it was nice to bond a little with the family cat, Felicia could not have returned sooner, for upon her return, someone else had appeared in her sister's room. He stood, tall and lean, in the doorway of the room with a black, leather coat hanging over his arm. He stared in the direction of her sleeping sister, until the sound of Felicia's footsteps caught his ear. When they stopped behind him, he turned and met her gaze in a bit of a surprise. She instantly knew who he was, though they had never officially met; Kate's descriptions of him where too in-depth to forget. Felicia shot him a cold, angered glare. "You," she said simply, just as Molly hopped out of her arms. When the little cat returned to her spot on Kate's chest, Felicia demanded the man to follow her to the other end of the hall. She knew he hadn't expected her to be there.

"I have met some men in my life, but you," she began. "You have got some nerve, showing your big, hot shot face around here again."

"I heard she was in an accident. I had to come and see if she was alright," he confessed.

"No, Tom! She's not alright!" Felicia whispered in a harsh tone. She crossed her arms over her chest to keep her body from trembling; the anger inside her was blazing. "Do you know what you did to her? No, of course not, because you booked it before you had the chance. You don't have any idea what you put her through!"

"Felicia, please." Tom cut it, but she ignored him and went on.

"She has been nothing but closed-off and contained since you left. I had to **beg** her to let our grandparents come over, because frankly, she's wanted no one around to help her-because of you. As a sister, do you know how heartbreaking that is to hear?" She asked him, pointing directly at her heart, which pounded inside her chest with rage.

"Will you at least allow me explain?"

"You give me a good reason why you deserve to?" she retorted, louder than she meant to. Silence took over the hall. Tom lowered his eyes to the floor, more than ashamed of himself. The words he meant to say suddenly sounded useless. He didn't deserve anything at this point, except maybe a big kick to the side of the head. When he remained silent, Felicia grunted and pushed past him in her fury. Not to her surprise, Tom followed.

"Please, Felicia, just let me talk to her. You don't know what my situation was like."

Felicia spun around on her heels suddenly, nearly causing Tom to run into her. Her glare had grown deadly, almost frightening. "I really don't give - a flying - rat's - ass what your 'situation' was like. She's my sister. I care about what she wants. I care about her feelings, more so than my own. And there is no way that I'm going to let you hurt her again." She turned away again, but only for a split second. Tom tried a last time to get Felicia to listen to him, but she interrupted him again. "She's moving, Tom, to Ireland." The moment she said this, Tom closed his mouth. "I didn't think she was being serious at first, but she's dead set on this decision."

Her words sunk into Tom's thoughts. She was moving to Ireland? "What, -"

"If you have to ask why than you're more brainless than I thought. The worst part is, she might be staying there for good, but I can't make her change her mind, because she makes her own decisions now. She isn't a child anymore." Tears built up in Felicia's eyes as she told him this. Just the thought of possibly never seeing her sister again was unbearable. Tom was silent. He knew he had hurt Kate horribly and, honestly, he would never forgive himself for it. Felicia hoped what she told him was enough to make him understand. Wiping her eyes dry, she solemnly added, "She's trying to move on, Tom. It's for her own good, and if you really cared about her at all, then you would leave her be."

Her words pained Tom, but not as much as he knew he had pained Kate. Deep down, he knew she was right. She was right about everything. Tom nodded, tossing his coat from one hand to the other. "Fine, Felicia," he said with a bitter sadness on his tongue. "I'll leave her alone, because I do care." And he did, more than she knew, and if it meant that the woman he loved would be happy again then he would leave her alone. With one last glance at the figure sleeping soundlessly in the hospital bed, Tom turned from the room and silently walked down the empty hallway. Every step he took sent a throbbing pain straight through his heart. He stared up at the ceiling as he walked, trying to prevent the small tears from escaping his eyes. This was it then, he thought as he took one last step out of their lives. Felicia watched him go, nearly satisfied.

* * *

Ireland was more than everything Kate had dreamed it to be. The rich, green lands and rocky, high mountains were some of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen. She stood on the largest hill in the area and watched as the sun was setting below the horizon, which was more breathtaking than any version she had seen back in the states. It was like she had been living on a completely different planet, whereas everything was far more beautiful and delicious here.

A cold breeze blew through the shawl hanging around Kate's shoulders and the loose strands of her long, brown hair. She pulled the wrap tighter around her, though it hardly did any good. The chilled breeze caught a tear in the corner of her eye and it blew it away before it could fall. This moment was perfect, she thought, and she was capturing it all.

A few weeks into her move, Kate had seen so much of Ireland's natural beauty that it brought out her desire to pick up her lost love for painting. Now months piled onto the weeks, and the small house in which she lived was now covered with simple paintings, some of the mountains near her home, and some of the fields and animals surrounding it. The painting she did now while standing on top of the hill was of the sunset. The colors of the sky were brilliant and bright, all of which poured from the sky and into her paintbrush. She smiled, even as the sound of coming rain clouds rumbled in the distance.

The breeze was getting colder and no matter how tight Kate pulled her shawl, it would not block out the chilled air. She sighed, glancing up at the sky for a split second. Most of the colors of the sunset were dark now, but she only had a few more strokes to go before the painting was finished. Perhaps she could continue inside, though the image in her mind could hardly compare to the real thing. A light drizzle began, which usually would not have bothered Kate. Knowing it was only a matter of time before the real rain came, she grabbed her painting tools and tossed them in a small bucket she set in the grass beside her feet and lifted the portrait stand, then began her short walk back to the house.

Giving the horizon one last glance, something interesting caught Kate's eye.

A lone figure walked along the tops of the hills, just above where the sun had set only a few moments ago. From the bit of light left in the gray sky, Kate noticed it was the figure of a man, now walking toward her. The closer it got the more familiar the figure seemed. At first, she thought it to be Samuel, a local farm boy who was constantly stopping in to see if she needed anything. She smiled at the thought. He was a sweet boy, and it did her well to have company every now and again, but he would have to learn to understand…

Kate started walking toward her home again, glancing at her visitor every now and again, until a sudden realization came to her mind. The man approaching her was much taller than Samuel, and there was a shade of blackness on top of his head. She knew Samuel had blonde hair. Kate halted her steps once more to let the man catch up with her, though she would soon regret it.

A few more minutes of waiting, and Kate could now see the stranger's face, though she realized he wasn't any sort of stranger at all. Perhaps she was dreaming. Perhaps her heart was playing horrible tricks on her. No matter what was currently happening in Kate's mind, her eyes would not deny him. Her body was trembling, and not from the cold temperature.

Tom calmly walked forward to greet her. His hands were stuffed in his coat pockets. She couldn't believe he would bring his old leather coat to Ireland, knowing it gave him little comfort against the cold, and then she remembered that all she wore was a shawl. Maybe she was just caught up in the moment. Finally standing in front of her, Tom gave her a small smile, but it quickly fell from his face. "Hello, Kate," he sighed. Just from the sound of his voice, she knew he was freezing. She didn't care. She would make him stand out in the cold before she invited him into her new home. She didn't say hello back. She honestly didn't know what to say at all.

Before Kate knew what was happening, a tear rolled down her cold cheek. Tom offered to wipe it for her, but she backed away from him. Looking back into her eyes, Tom saw a sort of sadness that even made him want to cry. All the pain he had caused her shone in her eyes at that moment, and it wounded him deeply. She was struggling to hold in the tears now. "If you're going to attempt to play the nice guy and apologize, you need not bother." Kate finally said. "I've already forgiven you." The last bit, Tom did not expect.

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't deserve to be forgiven. But you do deserve an apology." Tom disagreed. He gathered the rest of his thoughts and tried his best to get each word out the best way he could, even though he knew nothing could make up for what he did to her. But he needed to start somewhere. "What I did to you was, unfair. It was terrible, and I know you suffered a great deal because of it. I never meant to hurt you, Kate."

"You left," she interrupted. It seemed to be a trait between her and her sister, "without a single word. Not even a message." She held her breath for a moment, hoping it would cease her trembling. "I didn't know if I would ever see you again. I thought at first, oh, he's an actor. This is probably what he does."

"Even you would know I'm not like that." Tom assured her. He knew a few co-workers of his who did treat women so poorly, but he would never.

Kate shook her head, wiping the tears away. "You don't know what that did to me."

"But I think I do," Tom told her, catching her attention. "I left because, honestly, I was afraid. I was afraid of what people might say. I was afraid of my job, but mostly, I was afraid for you. I didn't want my career to get in the way, but I knew if we were together, something would happen. I knew you would only get hurt in the end, whether by the media, or by me." Kate didn't say anything. She only listened, mostly because she had nothing in her mind _to_ say. At her silence, Tom went on. "I heard you had gotten into an accident. My job wanted me to be somewhere else, but all I could do was wonder if you were alright, so I flew to California to see you, but Felicia found me first." Kate didn't know this, because her sister never told her. He came to see me, she thought.

"She told me you were moving on, that you were moving away, and that if I cared for you then I would leave you alone. So that's what I did. I left you alone, because I wanted you to forget, and to be happy, but…" When he reached for Kate's hands, she didn't move quick enough to avoid him. Looking into his eyes, those soft green eyes she could never fight, she didn't have the heart to pull her hands away. In her frustration, more tears poured from her eyes, down her pale cheeks. "I say I think I knew what you went through, because when you were gone, I couldn't get you off my mind. I couldn't focus on work, on life, on anything. My heart ached at the mere thought of you. I knew while you were out there, away from me, I couldn't go on."

Kate remained silent. She stared into those eyes, wishing that in an instant, everything would just fix itself. She wanted the pain to go away, and she wanted the pain she saw in Tom's eyes to go way.

A thought came to Kate that almost made her laugh. "So you followed me, to Ireland. Tom, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard," Kate told him, but when she said it, Tom smiled again. "It does sound a bit absurd, I know." And again, his smile was gone, replaced by sorrow.

He was staring down at their hands. He brushed a thumb across Kate's knuckles. "I put you through something awful, and I told myself I would never forgive myself for it, but I promise," Tom fixed his eyes upon her face again, "I could never hurt you like that again, not without destroying myself." Looking deeper in her eyes, he added, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kate, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it." He finished. By this time, Kate was confused and shuffled. She didn't know what to say.

Much closer now, Kate's ears suddenly caught the rumbling thunderclouds above them. She looked up into the dark gray sky just as the light drizzle turned into a soft rain pour. Not long after, the rainfall grew thick, soaking the two of them in seconds. Their eyes met once more, and Kate couldn't help but laugh. "This isn't supposed to happen in real situations," she practically shouted over the rolling of the thunder. Tom smiled. It was the wide, loving smile she had once fallen in love with, and was now falling in love with all over again.

"Maybe it's fate," Tom suggested. She knew just how pleased with himself he was. He could easily take credit for making it rain. For a moment, they just held each other's hands and one stared at the other in silence. Taking a deep breath, Tom brought Kate's hands to rest on his chest. "Kate?"

"Yeah?" Now she was trembling from the frozen touch of the raindrops on her skin.

"Will you marry me?" Tom asked, though Kate could hardly hear him over the pouring rain and constant rumbles of thunder.

"What?" she hollered. Tom pulled her in closer, catching her shoulders in his hands.

"Marry me!" Tom shouted, knowing she could here him. Kate didn't reply to his request. "I'm not letting you go anywhere until you say yes."

Kate smiled, feeling both embarrassed and confused, and shook her head. "No," she said simply. The moment it rolled off her tongue, a shard of pain stabbed her in the heart. It wasn't what she wanted to say, and Tom knew it.

"Kate, marry me. Please." He pleaded with both his lips and eyes, but still, Kate shook her head.

"No!" she said this without looking at him, because he knew it wasn't what she wanted to say. To help her figure out her simple English problem, Tom placed his thumb below her chin and raised her face to his in a gentle, but passionate kiss. He didn't have to ask again, because he knew her true answer. Despite the rain, Tom's lips were soft and warm against hers. The rain drowned out whatever tears she shed at this moment. Kate wrapped her arms around Tom's neck as he held her closer to him. This moment was perfect. Even though Kate knew her painting of the sun set was no doubt destroyed by the rain, she could not care, knowing not even the warming sun set was as beautiful as the moment they shared.


End file.
